The Power of Intent

“We either live with intention or exist by default.” – Kristin Armstrong

Do you ever get stuck in obsessive thinking? Do you know that you need to change your thoughts, but you can't stop the obsessive thoughts that make you feel miserable?

It Starts With Your Intent

Psychologist Margaret Paul, the creator of the "Inner Bonding Process" teaches that there are only two possible intentions in any given moment: 1. The intent to control, or 2. The intent to learn.

When your intent is to control, you will be trying to get love or attention, or you will be trying to protect yourself from feeling unhealed emotional pain with some form of controlling behaviour.

Obsessive thinking is a form of control. Your wounded self believes that if you obsess long enough about a situation you will find a way to have control over people or circumstances.

And, even as obsessive thinking creates uncomfortable anxiety, it is a controlling way to avoid feeling underlying core wounds.

Changing Your Intent

All thoughts from your wounded ego are controlling. When control is your intent, you will have obsessive thoughts that feel bad.

You can explore your obsessive thoughts and the beliefs that fuel them, yet even if you can understand where your beliefs came from in the past, you will not be able to change your thoughts until you change your intent.

The unconscious intent of the wounded self is always to control. To become aware when your intent is controlling, you only need to become aware of bad feelings. Whenever you feel bad, it is because your intent is to control.

To change your intent, practice noticing your painful feelings and consciously connect them to your intent to control. Then, shift into your intention to learn and grow.

If you approach each moment as an opportunity to learn something new about yourself and others, you will no longer feel so emotionally defensive, stuck and afraid.