Wholeheartedness - when you give all yourself to love completely - withholding nothing - is a sign that your heart is in full operation. If your heart has been broken, you will feel depressed, burned out, bitter, dissociated, scared and defensive.
So, in order to live a full and passionate life, you will need to recover your heart. If your heart has been broken in the past, it is your responsibility to heal it. Wholeheartedness is a 100% commitment to love all of yourself.
To return the brightness to your heart you can turn toward your heart every day, perhaps by placing a gentle hand upon it, and asking, "How is my heart feeling today?" Keep in mind that the reason you would not be turning toward your heart regularly is that there are painful emotions stored in there that you do not want to feel, so this is a courageous practice.
Becoming Friendly with Your Emotions
Difficult emotions cannot be fixed or changed. They are remnants of past hurt that need to be lovingly attended to. Emotions do not want to be denied, nor do they need to take over and rule your life. And, so instead of using your mind to talk yourself out of your emotions or giving into negative emotions, why not turn toward them instead?
Greeting your Heart
Aim to stand back from whatever pain is in your heart without becoming it. With your hand on your heart, greet whatever feeling is there without judging it or trying to change it in any way. Allow whatever sensation that is in your heart to show itself to you, no matter if it is very faint and dull or strong and intense.
By observing how your heart feels, you might be able to name the feeling. This should help your hurt to relax a little because it will feel seen by you. You can also observe a feeling in your heart without giving it words. Inner pictures might come instead. You might feel a barrier around your heart, for example, and you might see a metaphorical image of a brick wall.
Being With Your Heart
Every one of us has a larger overseeing Higher Self that can hold all the hurt that we have ever experienced. The hurting parts that express our heartbreaks will often seem younger or smaller. So the "Big You" can be with the "little you" that is still hurting from the past
So now, that you have greeted a distressed feeling in your heart you can welcome it to share more. So, there is "Big You" observing your heart, and there is also "little you" - which might come through as a feeling-tone or an image that is communicating with You. Perhaps this hurting little being in your heart might to tell you a story or share a memory with You.
If it is a particularly painful feeling, it might be angry with You. Typically, we lock away old heartbreaks inside our hearts. So, if you listen to a hurt part in your heart, it might tell you its story, and this will help you feel right again. It will help you feel more whole.
And, sometimes, nothing much will come, especially if you have not been tending to your heart for a very long time. So just be with whatever faint or faraway inklings arise. Your heart will start speaking to you more loudly when you listen to it on a daily basis.
Compassion For What Hurts
After being with a feeling in your heart for 5–10 minutes, see if you can amplify compassion for the part of yourself that is hurting. It is especially important to extend compassion to the parts of yourself that you do not like, feel ashamed of, or are embarrassed about.
After spending time sitting with your heart, send as much love and compassion to the little parts of you that are hurting as possible. You can tell a hurting part, "I hear you. It is ok that you feel the way you do. There must be a good reason. I am with you. You are welcome here." Then wait to see if the hurting part can take in your compassion.
If not, invite it to express more about why it is hurting, and reassure it again. If you listen to what is hurting in your heart deeply and patiently enough, one day your heart will no longer hurt. Your heart will be healed, and you will feel open and clear, ready to love again.
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